Dear Mom,
I miss you.
I miss the softness of your cheeks.
And watching you read.
And telling you about my day.
And having you as my best friend.
I wish I could ask you a lot of things.
Like if you ever felt this inadequate
because to me
you were always
Amazing!
How did you manage that?
I wonder what you would think of me as an adult,
of the person I’ve become,
while you were gone.
If you still think that I will turn out ok,
and what insights
you would offer into
how I can become a better person.
Because you always did that very well.
In the kind of way
that made me think
for myself.
So maybe you would
not be too disappointed
in the person I’ve become.
Even if she is a little too independent.
I wonder how our relationship
would have grown,
now that we are both
women.
What kinds of things we would do together
Just because
we enjoyed
each others company.
I wish I had learned
a little more
of your kindness.
I wish missing you
didn’t hurt so much.
And yet
In a way
I’m glad it does,
because things that are easy
usually aren’t worth very much.
