A Moment I was Most Satisfied with my Life

Well there are some obvious mile-markers here like the day I got married, or bought a house, or finished school, or Kyle came to live with us. But I think it might be more interesting to talk about some of the littler times. There are many small moments in my life where things are just really, really good in a sweet and simple way and if I am a very lucky girl I realize right then just how awesome my life is. I can think of one of this back in high school right before a show (I was in stage crew, nerdy I know but It brought me a lot of other good things) and there was a group of us just hanging out and I felt that way. There was a day on a cruise ship in Mexico when Todd and I were standing on top of the boat watching this AMAZING sunset over Mazatlan and I felt that way. Often when Todd and I are having dinner alone together (Eating out of course) and the conversation is good I feel this way. I feel this way when Todd and I are making a meal together at home too, and of course when we dance in the kitchen.



Oh and Sunday Mornings, I love Sunday mornings when we sleep late and go get breakfast. I love the ability to move at our own pace. I love going to a museum or movie on a Sunday afternoon with Todd.

My Favorite Childhood Toys

I had a knock-off cabbage patch kid that I called Mary. I LOVED that thing and slept with it every night until I was like 12 and my cousins started making fun of me. Emily and I each got one for Christmas one year and my mother made us each a diaper bag and TONS of clothing to go with them. We even had several outfits that she made us to match our dolls. My mother was amazing!



When I was older I got an American Girl doll for Christmas. I got Samantha but I was getting a little too old for dolls by that point and only played with it for a year or two. What I really enjoyed was sewing cloths for that doll and tot give to my sisters as gifts for their dolls.


I don’t have many other memories of specific toys. We played Barbies a lot but what I really enjoyed was playing pretend and making things. I had delightfully imaginative cousins and all of our games has very intricate plots. If we were playing Barbies for example we would be French Models on vacation in Hawaii for the summer and we spent as much time building beach front mansions out of chairs, books, blankets etc and discussing/creating our back stories as we ever spent “playing.” We once played Jungle Barbie and tied hundreds of pieces of green yarn from the ceiling in my Aunts living room and then hung Barbie tents that my grandmother had made for us and spent the afternoon “swinging” from one “vine” to the next. (We also played Monchhichis this way.) Other days we filled up all of the sinks in my Aunt Sherry’s double bathroom and the tub to play Mermaid Barbie. Other times we played fairies or desert dwellers without dolls building elaborate tents in the basement or in trees in the back yard as “houses.” Yep, I had one very, very, very amazing childhood.

My Zodiac Sign and Does it fit my Personality

I am a Virgo, I will be honest I do not know a great deal about what that means.  I believe very strongly that belief in and of its self is very powerful.  I think that if you read your horoscope and go about your day looking for it to be true you will find it is.  I prefer to start my day picking a goal or focus I want to work on or achieve and looking for that to be true. I am not a believer in fate, or religion.  I believe in the lessons that I have learned from my past, taking time to really think about decisions, and trusting a sense of peace when I have made the right decision.  I think that feeling unsettled or anger that you cannot make peace with tells you very important things about changes you need to make in your life.

My Favorite Comfort Foods and Why

I love cheese and bread in all its many forms. I like macaroni and Cheese, I like nachos, I like cheese quesadillas, I like French bread with cheese melted on top. These are all foods that I grew up eating. This past year I have focused hard on eating healthier food. Mostly this includes eating fewer carbs and less fat and eating more vegetables.



I also love BLT’s without tomatoes (Which Todd insists is not a BLT but just a bacon sandwich). I love to make these the same way that my mother made them by toasting the bread and using three slices of wonder bread with Miracle Whip on each side of the bread. She used to line up all the slices of bread on the pullout bread board in my childhood home and making these always makes me think of my mother.

My Views on Religion

I was brought up in the Mormon religion but as a young adult I choose to leave. This was a choice that I spent a great deal of time deliberating about and at times it still causes conflict with my family as they are all still active members.



I think that losing my mother and the reaction of the church and its members to all the many deep issues surrounding her injuries first sparked my break with formal religion. I really struggle with the message/ concept that god intentionally causes pain in order to teach lessons. Or that providing trials is God’s way of proving the blessing of growth. I also struggle with the inequality that exists between men and women in the religion, their views on gay rights, spiritual plural marriage (that a man can be sealed to more than one woman but a woman cannot be sealed to more than one man) and several other beliefs.


I do not currently believe in any formal religion. I do find the idea or reincarnation very appealing because I believe that the purpose of life is to gain knowledge and understanding and think that the ability to live the lives of many different people in different places and times supports that.

Where do I want to be in 10 Years

This one is really really weird for me to even think about and the idea that it is weird is weird. For a very long time I have has some very specific goals and as a general rule I am a goal oriented person. My goals for years have been to get my maters degree, get a job as a school principal, and buy a house. All of those happened last year. I have been so focused on those I haven’t thought much beyond.



I have considered getting my PhD and having children so both of those would be on my 10 year list. I think having a house that is a little more “us” would also be on the list. I want to travel more and maybe take an advance in my career. I think I would like to teach on the college level or at least a college class at some point. None of these are super specific though. I think that I need to give this one a lot more thought. Oh, wait a second, I want to write a book. I have wanted to for a really long time but I think my life is finally going to settle down in the next month enough for that to really happen.

My Current Relationship

I have been married to Todd for almost 9 years. We met in high school when we were both 17 and dated for 5 years before we got married. During the early years of our relationship we were both struggling with a lot of loss. (His mother passed about a year before we met and mine was in a horrible life altering car accident about a year after) I think a lot of our bonding during those years was about “getting” what the other one was going through when many of our friends at the time did not.



We grew from teens to adults together and made some important decisions about who we would become as adults together. We started our first year of college living at home and communing to Weber State. We drove to and from classes together then went on to work separately later in the afternoon. One year later we moved out on our own (in separate apartments of course) and when to college at Utah State (me first and Todd following a few months later). We had an awesome time At Utah State and I think that both of us would tell you it will forever be a high point in our lives.

Todd is my best friend and the only person I know who understands me fully. I am often uncomfortable asking for help or taking things from other people, I often find myself in relationships of all kinds where I give a lot. Most of the time this is a really good thing and I like it but every once in a while it is nice to recharge the batteries. Todd is one of the very few people in my life who recharges my batteries. He has defiantly been a mellowing influence in my life (like all of my siblings spouses, us Parkins are born a little tightly wound).

Todd and I enjoy doing a lot of simple things together especially reading and swapping books so that we can talk about them later. We like traveling and have been to some very cool places together. We like watching odd or foreign films and used to be very into the Academy Awards hosting a party every year. I love going to Art exhibits, festivals and museums together because we can both wonder freely with out pressure to hurry up because our pacing is the same. I always feel rushed with other people it seems but not Todd. We also going on picnics and hanging out at Barns and Noble (Our favorite free dates in college). Now days we spend more time working on fixing up our house together.

Gonna Give it a Shot

2011 in review

What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
Bought a house, Finished a Masters Degree, got a job as a Director of Education, became a “parent” of sorts, read 99 books, started accepting things being less “perfect,” walked away from a job because it “was time,” got into the Salt Lake Farmers Market, said “no” to one thing.

Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Nope, read 99 books instead of 100 but I accepted that I would rather spend the last days of the year with family than reading alone so I’m ok with this decision.  I set some very ambitious goals for this year though.  Waiting to see how it goes.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Emily, Hilary, many couzins, and a few close friends (Jen, Sheena, Maryanne)

Did anyone close to you die?
Todd lost his Gandfather.

What countries did you visit?
Nope, focused on other things this year.  Hoping to hit Europe with Todd in the spring!

What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
I got both from last year.  And Kyle came to live with us which was a total surprise bonus.  So nothing, which makes me think that I need to be far, far, more grateful and happy.

What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory?

Our first night in our “new” home. 

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Finishing school, getting a job I’ve worked a lot time for, buying a house. 

What was your biggest failure?
I am still not good at saying no but there is nothing that I feel I failed at.  I would like to see myself accept that things will not be perfect and enjoy the moment I am in.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope, lucky.

What was the best thing you bought?
The house, such a big project and so very proud that it belongs to US!

Whose behavior merited celebration?

Todd, first, foremost, always.

Kyle, he is funny!  He started over this year which has been very hard.  I would never want to go to a new school like he has.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?


Where did most of your money go?
House, buying it and fixing things.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Getting a house, finishing school, having kyle come live with us, and Todd getting closer to finishing school.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier
b) thinner or fatter? The same, perhaps just a little thinner.
c) richer or poorer? Richer, Got a raise but not much


What do you wish you'd done less of?
Useless games on Facebook, writing papers for school

What was your favorite TV program?
Shameless, Big Bang Theory, Weeds,  Boardwalk Empire, Project Runway All Stars,  Downton Abby

What was the best book you read?
Time Travelers Wife maybe.

What did you want and get?
House, Guardianship of Kyle, a Mater’s Degree, New Job

What did you want and not get?

Last year’s list : NOTHING

What was your favorite film of this year?
I can’t think of one

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
31, funny I can’t even remember.  Probably food.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Todd getting through school, still, always. 

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010? Simple, I think I need to go back to everything matching a pair of black shoes.

What kept you sane?
Sleep, Todd, friends, accomplishing so big goals, a light at the end of the tunnel.

New nick names?
Nope

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
It’s not perfect and not only is that ok, my life is pretty dam good!

Books I Read in 2011, most of them

Paper Towns - Sold - One Fifth - Alas, Babylon - What My Mother Doesn't Know - The First Part Last - The penny Pinchers Club - Winter girls - Incarceron - Pearl of China - The Witch Doctor's Wife - F in Exams - No Fear Romeo and Juliet - The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid - At Home - The Tender Bar - Notes from a Small Island - A walk in the Woods - Kiki Strike - Critical Conversations - Gathering Blue - The Death and Life of the American School System - Eat, Pray, Love - Fables Book 4- March of the Wooden Soldiers - Smoken' Seventeen - Fables Book 3 - If I Stay - Fables Book 3 - The Time Travelers Wife - Fables Book 2 - The Autobiography of Mrs. Tom Thumb - Fables Book 1 - My Sister's Keeper - Wicked Girls - Black Dagger Brotherhood Book 4 - Juliet, Naked - Making Mischief: A Maurice Sendak Appreciation - The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing, Traitor to the Nation, Volume I: The Pox Party - The Happiness Project - Chains (second Reading) - Heist Society - Fully Present - The Handmades Tale - Lady Susan - War Dances - The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie - Love, Stargirl - Theodore Boone Kid Detective - Pieces of Georgia - Sway: The Pull of Irrational Behavior - Life on the Refrigerator Door- Mindsight - The Chocolate War - Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 4 - Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 3 - All Around the Town - The Joy Luck Club - Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Café - Chains - The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants II - Freak the Mighty - Cutting for Stone - The Imperfectionists - A Short History of Nearly Everything (p. 624) - No Easy Answers: Short Stories About Teenagers Making Tough Choices (p.336) - Black Dagger Brotherhood book 3 (p.464) - The Crispin: Cross of Lead (p. 320) - Autobiography of Mark Twain, Vol. 1 (p. 760) - Does this Book Make Me Look Fat?: Stories about loving- and loathing- your body (p. 208) - The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks (p.352) - Things I Have to Tell You: poems and writing by teenage girls (p.80) - 101 Things I learned in Fashion School (p. 212) - 145th street (p. 151) - Living Dead Girl (p. 176) - Bob Dylan's Chronicals Vol. 1 (p. 320) - Kira Kira (p. 272) - Johnny Trimain (p. 336) - "No Fear" Othello (p. 320) - Vocabulary Building Card Games (p. 80) - The Compound ( p. 272) - The Girl who Played with Fire (p. 630) - The Perks of Being a Wallflower (p. 213) - Pigboy (p. 101) - Monster (p. 281) - Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents (p. 256) - Founding Brothers: The Revolutionary Generation (p. 304) - What the Dog Saw: And Other Adventures (p. 448) - Dutch (p. 256) - Fire Eaters (p. 224) - Howl and Other Poems (p. 57) - Apartment Therapy Presents: Real Homes, Real People, Hundreds of Design Solutions (p. 264) - Sizzling Sixteen (Stephanie Plum) (p. 320) - The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference (p. 301) - Just Kids (p. 320) - Outliers: The Story of Success (p. 309) - I hope they Serve Beer in Hell (p. 336) - Water for Elephants (p. 464)

2012

I thought that when I quit my second job and finished school I would have more time to get things done, but one month in I do not feel like I getting anything done.  I think that I just lack focus.  So with the New Year starting and the holidays over I have set some new goals.  In the past keeping track of goals on my blog has helped so I’m going to try and do a bit more of it here in hopes that it will get me blogging more again.  I also am hoping that it will get me blogging about some more interesting topics too!